divorce

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Friday, 24 May 2013 : 7th Week of Ordinary Time, World Day of Prayer for the Church in China (Scripture Reflection)

Brothers, and sisters in Christ! Today, I announce to you a great news of great joy, especially for the Church in Singapore. For as of 18 May 2013, the Coadjutor Archbishop of Singapore had succeeded as the new Archbishop of Singapore, Archbishop William Goh Seng Chye. He was installed today at the cathedra of the Cathedral of the Good Shepherd, the mother church of Singapore, and today also marked his inauguration as the ordinary of the Archdiocese, beginning the full extent of his ministry as bishop to the flock entrusted to him by the Lord in Singapore.

How is this then relevant to what we heard in the readings today, brothers and sisters in Christ? In fact, today’s readings are perfect for the occasion, because, today’s reading, in the Gospel in particular, deal with the intimacy of relationships between peoples. In the first reading, we heard about friendship and the type of friends we have and we can encounter in our daily lives.

In the Gospel then, we heard about another type of relationship, one that is even closer than friendship, that is marriage, which is a union between two persons, male and female, as ordained by God, that men should leave their parents and join with women, that they become one body, and from this union, spring forth new life, through procreation and birth of new children.

But there is yet still another, even more noble kind of relationship, one that is not explicitly mentioned in the Gospel today, but in fact has very large degree of similarity to it. That is the relationship that those in the Holy Orders with both God and with the Church which they serve, and which they lead. Those in the Holy Orders include all those who had been ordained by the authority passed down through the Apostles from Christ Himself, from our pope, to our bishops, and to our priests and deacons.

All are relationships that are sanctified by God, particularly in the case of marriage and the Holy Orders, in which we should always remember the words of Christ that, whatever God has made into one, no man and no angel should separate. No one may undo the union that God has sanctified and sealed, in the holy sacrament of matrimony and priesthood.

First then, let us begin with friendship. We may not have a sacrament of friendship, unlike marriage and priesthood, but true friendship itself is also holy, because true friendship must be based on love and purity of hearts and intention between the friends. Today’s first reading explained to us the different kinds of friends, because friends may indeed look superficially from outside like a good friend to us, but in fact, this ‘friend’ of ours is only using us up, either because we have material wealth or something that keeps this friend to remain at our side.

As long as we have this something, money, possession, or some other thing, this ‘friend’ will remain, but once we run out of this something, they will leave us, and sometimes do not be surprised that the ‘friend’ may even become an enemy. This is one of the thing warned by the first reading we heard today. We have to also take note of the parable of the prodigal son, where when the son has all the properties that he inherited from his father, he made many friends in the foreign land, and lived a happy but wasteful life. But those friends are not his true friends, because once his money dries up, they leave him and do not lift even their fingers to help him, until he has to work as a pig handler and even be tempted to eat the pig’s food due to his hunger. He has no friend!

What is true friendship then? True friends are friends who stand by us in times of joy, but even more importantly, they also stand by our side at our times of greatest sorrow. Not many people indeed will become our true friends, but once we have true friends in our life, true friendship, as long as we have love in ourselves, will last forever. Because true friendship is based not on material goods and possessions, or even human greed, but it is based on love, care, and compassion.

Thus, value the friendships we have and look beyond the veil of possessions and greed, in order to find out who are our true friends in life. True friends are not always those who join us in fun and happy things, in parties and celebrations, but are those who also care for us and protect us in our time of troubles and whenever we are downtrodden. All being said, we ourselves then too should strive to become true friends to those around us, particularly to those whom we love, and of course to our God.

Yes, Christ, our Lord and Saviour is also our friend, and He is friend to all mankind, to all the children of God, for remember that He Himself had said to His disciples that there is no greater love than that of a friend who gives up his life for the sake of his friend. And Jesus, our Saviour did just exactly that, because He died for all of us, giving up His life, and even though He was blameless and pure, He accepted damnation to death that through His death, we may gain a new life in Him, through His glorious resurrection.

Maintain this friendship and relationship that we have with Christ, with God, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. And how do we do that? Exactly by ensuring that we remained in God’s love and that ourselves and our hearts are always filled with God’s love, and in our actions, we always reflect Christ, our Lord, and become witnesses to His death and resurrection. And we also can help those among us who are least, weakest, ostracised, and abandoned, and in doing so, we are the friends of Jesus, and He is dear to us, just as we are dear to Him.

Then, after we have talked about friendship, let us continue on with a greater degree of relationship, that is marriage, which must be sealed in the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage. Marriage is only once in life and is eternal, between a man and a woman, as God ordained since the beginning of time, when He created Adam and Eve, the progenitor of all mankind.

Marriage is not merely physical relationship between two persons, that is filled with lust and desire. This kind of union is not marriage, but merely the fulfillment of human desires that may be corrupted by the evil one for his own purposes, and result in what we have seen in our world today, in the form of deviant form of ‘marriages’ that so many people champion, without realising that marriage is not something they should trifle with.

This is because marriage is ultimately about love, and again the love that I refer to over here, does not mean physical lust and sexual relationship between two persons, as these may form some part of marriage, but without true love, instead of a holy union of marriage, what we have is a perversion and sin before the eyes of God, essentially fornication and defilement of our own bodies, the Temple of the Holy Spirit.

Marriage is about love, that is the spiritual relationship, both between the two persons, male and female, united in love, caring for one another, committed in times of joy and sorrow, united in body and spirit, sealed by God Himself. And marriage is also about the spiritual relationship between the couple with God, because with God as their anchor, love will always remain within the sacred marriage union of the married couple.

Marriage itself must also breath out love, and produce love. Because the fruit of marriage is in fact children, and children are the fruits of love between the man and woman united by God in the sacred and inviolable union. Children receive love from both of their respective parents, which then ultimately have its source in God. That is the key to having a functioning and loving family, that this love that is within the couple is shared and poured to others, particularly in the child, whom the couple have responsibility for, and as the fruit of their marriage.

Therefore, marriage must never be manipulated and falsified by modern innovations and inventions, which bar the ultimate purpose of marriage, that is to produce the fruits of love, that is the children, just as the Lord commands mankind, to be fruitful and multiply, and to be Lord over all the earth. Men and women He created them for this purpose, that they multiply and prosper, sharing love with one another.

Sadly, too many modern innovations, especially through scientific discoveries, had made marriage no longer life-producing, and instead, even cause death in certain cases. The use of contraceptives and birth-control mechanisms had transformed marriage such that marriage is no longer solely based on love, and on producing the fruits of love, but has moved it such that mankind now focus on the more immediate and worldly aspect of marriage, submitting themselves to their desire and lust, and seeking pleasure instead of love in marriage.

Abortion and other life-destroying actions, continue to destroy both the sanctity of marriage, and the sanctity of life, for in abortion, we destroy the very life and fruit of love which is the fruit of marriage. Many abortions also resulted from extramarital affairs and relations, which signify the importance of marriage as the necessary step in the union between man and woman, for anything that is conceived outside of marriage, is not sealed by God, and therefore, becoming much more prone to human weakness and evil, which leads to irresponsible acts such as abortion.

Divorce is yet another great evil, that destroys both marriage, and the family which are split and destroyed by this other, irresponsible act. Marriage should be based on love, and the children, the fruits of marriage and love, must get love from their parents. Divorce, which destroys this union between the husband and the wife, ruins not just the two persons involved, but also the children, who suffer even more from the separation between their parents. This is also in direct violation against what God has revealed through Christ, His Son, that whatever God had joined into one, through the sacred sacrament of matrimony, should never be divided by men.

Therefore, brothers and sisters in Christ, those among us who are couples in holy marriage, strive to empower your married life, that the Lord remains in it, and love remains the heart of your marriage, that the marriage will not become empty, and end in painful and sinful divorce, or extramarital affairs. Rather, as a family, all of you must be functional and do your part as members of the family, to love one another and love the Lord your God, that He will give you guidance through your married life.

Pray together often, and have your meals together often too. Bring your children together with you, and raise him or her together, as husband and wife, sharing with them the love that is between both of you, the love that originates from God Himself, that they too will have love within themselves. Prayer especially is important, because prayer will strengthen your faith, and it can strengthen the anchor of love you have in God, and in one another.

Time maybe scarce, brothers and sisters, in our busy modern world, with all its noises, and with all the careers and works we have taken upon ourselves. But, brethren, try your best to spend your time together as a family, especially with the children, so that your marriage will remain loving and happy, and will last for eternity.

Then, finally, let us go into the most special relationship that those in the Holy Orders have, particularly the bishop, and today, especially as those in Singapore commemorate the inauguration of the ministry of the new Archbishop, Archbishop William Goh, it is most appropriate to look into the intimate nature of the relationship that the bishop has, both with God, and with the Church.

Those in the Holy Orders, and those committing themselves to pious, religious life, do not marry, not because they disobey the Lord, but because they commit themselves to God and His people so much that, they are in fact married to God and His Church. They had become the bride of the Church upon their entry into the Holy Orders.

Does this relationship then bring about love and life? just as marriage does? Yes! definitely! For a priest, a bishop, and any ordained ministers, and those who commit themselves to God, share fully in the love of God, and through their ministry, they share this love with all the faithful in the Church, to whom they made themselves as conduits of God’s love, and also of God’s life.

They bring life through their ministry, through their words and actions, because they bring healing to those who are sick, maybe not physically, but most importantly spiritually. Many of us have become dead spiritually, because our hearts are empty. The priests recharge our dead spiritual selves and allow us to be alive again, through the life that God has granted us. Through evangelisation too, priests bring life, to those who listen to the Word of God and believe, that they receive new life through the waters of baptism.

For them, the Lord and the Church are their sole care, the people of God. They choose not for themselves any particular partner, so that they can make themselves available, to share the love of God, to all mankind, rather than to be limited in the family. But this does not mean that the family cannot share its love with others, only that those in the family will certainly need to put the priority of love, first and foremost, to the fruits of their marriage, that is their children, and the love they have for one another as husband and wife.

A bishop is even more intimately in a loving relationship with God and with His Church, because a bishop is like a chief shepherd, who loves all the sheep entrusted to him by the Chief of all shepherd, that is God. He must love the priests that have been placed under his care, just as he needs to love the people, the laity that had been entrusted to him. They are married to him, just as he too is married to the Lord, to be his most humble and dedicated servant, in the evangelisation of the Good News to all.

Therefore, brothers and sisters in Christ, let us inspire one another, and build good relationships among ourselves. Forgo our hatred and fear, and allow love and joy of companionship build up in all our hearts. Build healthy and strong relationships, be it friendship, or higher degree ones such as marriage or Holy Orders for those who chose either, and anchor them in love, and our faith in God. God will then surely bless all of us, with everlasting love and abundant blessings.

Finally, today, we also mark the World Day of Prayer for the Church in China, which falls annually on 24 May. We show our care for the oppressed and persecuted faithful in China, by building concrete bridges of love, to reach out to them, and care for them, and pray for them especially, that they may be strong, to resist the temptations of the world, and that those who suffer will receive their due reward for their unfailing faith.

We are one Church, one Body in Christ, my brothers and sisters in Christ, from all over the world we had come, and into one we have become, that is one in the Church of God, the Universal Church He established on Peter, His apostle. No human power, no government, no form of oppression or persecution, will be able to separate what God has made into one, not even in the case of China. Therefore, pray hard, brothers and sisters in Christ, that liberation will soon come, not only for those oppressed in China for their faith, but also in North Korea, and other places, where injustice, and prejudices against the faith in God is still rampant, even till today.

Our Lady of Sheshan, protector of the faithful ones in China, pray for them, and pray for all of us. God be with us all, through joy and sorrow, and through this darkened world, and may He bring us into the light of salvation. Amen.

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Friday, 24 May 2013 : 7th Week of Ordinary Time, World Day of Prayer for the Church in China (Gospel Reading)

Mark 10 : 1-12

Jesus then left that place and went to the province of Judea, beyond the Jordan River. Once more crowds gathered around Him and once more He taught them, as He always did. Some Pharisees came and put Him to the test with this question, “Is it right for a husband to divorce his wife?”

He replied, “What law did Moses give you?” They answered, “Moses allowed us to write a certificate of dismissal in order to divorce.”

Then Jesus said to them, “Moses wrote this law for you, because you are stubborn. But in the beginning of creation God made them male and female, and because of this, man has to leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one body. So they are no longer two but one body. Therefore let no one separate what God has joined.”

When they were indoors at home, the disciples again asked Him about this, and He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against his wife, and the woman who divorces her husband and marries another also commits adultery.”

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Tuesday, 19 March 2013 : 5th Week of Lent, Solemnity of St. Joseph, Spouse of Blessed Virgin Mary (Gospel Reading)

Today also marks the Papal Inauguration of the 266th and current Pope, Pope Francis

Matthew 1 : 16, 18-21, 24a

Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and from her came Jesus who is called the Christ – the Messiah.

This is how Jesus Christ was born : Mary His mother had been given to Joseph in marriage, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph, her husband, made plans to divorce her in all secrecy. He was an upright man, and in no way did he want to discredit her.

While he was pondering over this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, descendant of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. She has concieved by the Holy Spirit, and now she will bear a Son. You shall call Him ‘Jesus’ for He will save His people from their sins.”

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had told him to do.

 

Alternative reading

 

Luke 2 : 41-51a

Every year the parents of Jesus went to Jerusalem for Feast of the Passover, as was customary. And when Jesus was twelve years old; He went up with them, according to the custom of this feast. After the festival was over, they returned but the boy Jesus remained in Jerusalem, and His parents did not know it.

They thought He was in the company, and after walking the whole day they looked for Him among their relatives and friends. As they did not find Him, they went back to Jerusalem searching for Him, and on the third day they found Him in the Temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking questions. And all the people were amazed at His understanding and His answers.

His parents were very surprised when they saw Him, and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Your father and I were very worried while searching for You.” Then He said to them, “Why were you looking for Me? Did you not know that I must be in My Father’s house?” But they did not understand this answer.

Jesus went down with them, returning to Nazareth, and He continued to be subject to them.

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Friday, 8 February 2013 : 4th Week of Ordinary Time, Memorial of St. Jerome Emiliani, and St. Josephine Bakhita, Virgin (Scripture Reflection)

We heard today of the tale of how St. John the Baptist was killed by Herod, out of Herod’s adulterous behaviour with his brother’s wife, and that wife’s hatred on John. St. John the Baptist, who had come before Christ to make straight the way for the Lord, met his death at the hands of the corrupt and immoral person who called himself the king of Judea at that time.

Who is John the Baptist? He is the cousin of Jesus, son of Elizabeth, miraculously conceived when Elizabeth was already old and barren, because the Lord desires that through her, a great prophet preceding Christ be born. St. John the Baptist indeed become the last prophet just before the coming of the Messiah, declaring to the world to repent and to be baptised at the River Jordan, in order to prepare themselves for the Messiah, who in fact at that time, had already walked on this world, in the form of Jesus, son of Mary, and Son of the Most High God.

John the Baptist’s call was heeded by many, who came to be baptised by John, and to truly repent from their sins. Nevertheless, the Pharisees and the scribes, just as they will later reject Jesus, they were also skeptical of John’s prophetic mission, and did not repent as many others do. But John managed to lay out the foundation for the later works of Christ and His disciples, just like a farmer plowing the soil preparing for it for the sower, who is Christ, who spreads the seeds on the plowed soil, fertile and ready, and thus are able to produce fruits hundredfold and thousandfold.

After Jesus was baptised by John, He arises in importance, which John in great humility said to his own disciples that just as the Lord for whom he has come to prepare the path for, is rising, he himself has to become lesser. His task in preparing the path for the Lord is complete, and in the last part of his life, which was told in the Gospel today, he was imprisoned for chastising Herod the king and his adultery with Herodias, his brother’s wife.

In ancient Jewish custom, this is actually not unacceptable for a brother to take care of a deceased brother’s wife, and take her as his own wife. Remember another story from the Bible, where the Saducees, who did not believe in the resurrection, asked the Lord about whose wife is the woman who was married to seven brothers, who died one after the other. Clearly, this custom is identified as the norm at that time, as the widow is perceived to be financially incapable of supporting herself, and therefore, it is justified for the brother to come in and take care of his sister-in-law by marrying her himself.

However, in this case, this is different because, just as Jesus later will stress, that marriage is a sacrosanct act, in which a man and woman is joined by God, and through God, this union, when made is eternal and cannot be dissolved by either man or even angels. For what God has made one, no man shall divide. This is the new commandment of the new covenant that Christ brought with His coming, and John, as the messenger of the Lord, did his last service to God by putting forward this teaching, against none other than Herod himself.

It is sad that today, many disregard the sanctity of marriage, and think that marriage is a trivial matter, and that divorce can be so easily contemplated and done. Divorce is something which should be avoided at all costs, as it directly violates what God has told us, that what He had brought together in marriage, which is a Sacrament on its own, no one, not even the husband and the wife themselves should divide back into two. It is sad that in our modern world, many take divorces lightly, and even marry again after the divorce. Many who did this, did so because they claim that they no longer love the wife, or worse that they have been tempted with lust and desire for another woman or man.

In order to maintain the sanctity of marriage, it is paramount that in the family, the faith in the Lord be kept strong, and that all actions should be carried out in love, and in accordance with God’s will. This is why it is important for couples and families, to come together and have meals together as best as they can everyday, so that they will stay close, despite challenges and temptations, and pray together, that the Lord will continue to bless them and strengthen their union, so that the evil one cannot come in between them and made them to decide to split.

Many couples are able to last for decades and many last beyond 50 years, and indeed, until death brought them apart, but not forever, since we know that we eventually will be reunited with the loved ones when we ourselves ascend to heaven at the end of our own lives. Indeed, their secret is no other than ensuring that couples constantly speak to one another from heart to heart, and coming together at all times, with their children, to pray regularly, to share the meal at the table. Remember that when more than two and three gathered in God’s name, He will be there, and will remain there with them, always.

Another story which I will bring to your attention, besides the already told story of John the Baptist, Herod, and Herodias, is the story of the divorces of King Henry VIII, the founder of the Anglican ‘church’ in his vain search for a male heir. King Henry VIII divorced his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, because she was not able to produce a male heir for him, although she did produce a daughter. His appeal to divorce her to the Pope was rejected, and King Henry VIII, displeased at the Papal disapproval went his own way and rebel from the Church, creating his own Anglican ‘church’.

St. Thomas More, King Henry VIII’s chancellor, refused to follow his king into rebellion from Rome, and chastised the king for his immoral behaviour in seeking to marry Anne Boleyn, who was to become the king’s second wife. He was asked to choose between loyalty to his king, and be given great wealth and influence as he always had before that, and thus even greater afterwards, or death if he remains faithful to the true Church. St. Thomas More abandoned all of his worldly wealth and fame, and chose to remain faithful to the Lord, and was therefore martyred.

Ultimately, King Henry VIII would kill Anne Boleyn after she herself failed to produce a male heir, and eventually married no less than four more times, with a total of having six wives and at least two mistresses, and all ultimately in vain, since even when there was a male heir, he died young, and the dynasty died out.

All that futile attempts was most damaging especially if we see how today, 80 million Christians who are in the Anglican Communion, are the direct product of this adulterous behaviour of King Henry VIII. This is an example on how if marriage is not kept as sacrosanct and indivisible in nature, not only it can affect just the two, but especially in King Henry’s case, it caused the destruction of the unity in the Body of Christ, that is the Church. Until today, we still pray and hope that all of them will eventually return soon to the true Faith and Church.

Today we also celebrate the feast of St. Jerome Emiliani, an Italian charitable man who cared deeply for the poor and orphans in early 16th century northern Italy, and died after in his pious work of service to the sick and the poor, he contracted a disease that killed him, and St. Josephine Bakhita, a Canossian nun, who was once a slave from Sudan, who after being freed from slavery, converted to Christianity and committed herself to the Lord by joining the Canossians as a nun. She was noted for her great faith in the Lord, and her dedication to Mary, His mother. She was also very much noted for her great heart and forgiving nature, seeking not revenge against her enemies, and even her former slavemasters, but rather seeking to forgive them and bless them instead.

Therefore, in the footsteps of these great saints, let us all strive, especially for those amongst us who are married, to keep our lives holy and meaningful, by doing what is good for the sake of others, just like St. Jerome Emiliani in service of the poor and the sick, by giving and sharing what we have more to those who need them more, and by our gentle and forgiving nature, following the example of St. Josephine Bakhita, who strive to keep herself pure and holy in the presence of God.

Let us pray also for the unity of all Christians, that especially for the Anglicans today, that their detachment from the Body of Christ that is the Church can soon be reversed, through our constant prayers to God, and through God’s actions, may the unity of the Church be restored. What damages King Henry VIII had done in his adulterous ways parallel to what Herod had done, in direct opposition to the Lord’s will on the sanctity of marriage, may we begin to heal through concrete attempts to reunite back the branches of the Body of Christ back onto its trunk, the Church.

Pray for us, St. Thomas More. And St. Jerome Emiliani, and St. Josephine Bakhita, pray for us all too. Pray for God’s holy Church that it will be one again, and indivisible, just like marriage, as the Lord has made His Church one, just like He and the Father is one and indivisible in the Holy Trinity. Amen.

+Ut Omnes Unum Sint+

(That they all may be One)